Advice
by OrderToChaos
Summary: Allen is having trouble getting shion to notice him so he finally decides to take advice from members of the Elsa. But he soon finds out this isn’t a great Ideal.
1. A is for absolute

Advice

* * *

Summary

Allen is having trouble getting shion to notice him so he finally decides to take advice

from Members of the Elsa. But he soon finds out this isn't a great Ideal.

* * *

Onboard the Elsa a depressed red-haired Vector employee drags his remains into the dark

depths of his room after once again being turned down by Shion. Well, it would have been

dark if the lights were off and it would be his room if it wasn't a large cabin shared by all

the male members on the ship. So technically it was a bright room with Jr., Chaos, Tony,

and a strange bouncing robot that like to watch people while they sleep, That Allen

crawled into in a depressed state after being turned down by Shion. "What's the matter

Allen" chaos said, despite already knowing what had happened. "I don't want to talk about

it chaos" Allen dragged himself to a bed and laid face down wishing he could be dead.

"You got turned down by shion again huh Allen" Tony teasing said.

"I said I don't want to talk about it"

"Ah come on Allen tell ya what we help you out" Tony said while hitting him on his back

"Ya Allen, with all our charm and babe grabbing talent even a wuss like you could learn" Jr. said

"Even chaos here can get babe, he even scored that andro..."(Chaos swiftly covered Tony's

mouth)

"uhh… he meant to say that I get along well with women and that I scored in a game of

tennis…right TONY" chaos let go of his mouth and gave him an evil glare

Tony gasped for air and agreed with chaos for the sake of his own personal safety. Jr. was

just wondering what Tony really meant… he was going to ask chaos about this later but

right now was a time to pick on Allen.

"So, what do I have do to get shion to like me then." Allen said in a kind of wimpy tone.

Tony decided his tactics would be the best to "help" Allen out (despite the fact he just

wanted a good laugh out of it) But before he could say anything chaos spoke up.

"well you need to see what shion likes and what she's good at you know interest and

hobbies I personally know she and kosmos are great kiss….uh(realizing what he was about

to say Tony jumped in just in time)

"kisstodians! They are great custodians, b-but now is not the time to be talking about that

kind of stuff Chaos were supposed to tell Allen stuff that's useful and not stuff that wont

benefit him if we tell him RIGHT" chaos rubbed the back of his head "opps wrong topic

huh" he said while laughing. Jr. whispered to Tony trying to figure out what just happened.

Tony and chaos evidently didn't tell the little master what was accruing on the Elsa while

they flew through out space. Chaos leaned over to Jr. "well tell you later Jr."Allen was

still left in the dark on how to approach shion and what Tony and chaos were trying to hide.

"you need charm" Tony said "ladies love a man whit lots of charm and smooth talking go right up to shion and tell her 'hey babe how about me and you go to the diner get some wine and spend a night under the starts."

"Really! That all I have so say."

"Make sure you kinda block her path so she can only focus on you, and kiss her hand when you talk about the stars she'll like that" Tony added

"Go for it" both Jr. and chaos agreed

"a-all right but if doesn't work…."

"if it doesn't work don't worry just come back here and will help you find something else" chaos said

"ya your already used to being turned down it wont be a problem . Jr. mockingly stated.

Allen turned red and walked out the cabin. Meanwhile chaos, Tony and Jr. pull out a monitor to watch the impending failure of the hopeless Allen from the cameras above.


	2. L is for loser

A is for absolute

* * *

Allen walked uneasily through the hall to the bridge, wondering if he should really take Tony's suggestion. His hands were overflowing of sweat and shaking intensely.

"gotta be smooth gotta be smooth" Allen chanted to himself hoping this would bring him some sort of confidence.

"What a wuss! Look at him, he looks like he could kill over any second" Jr. said while gazing at the monitor

"Poor guy" chaos said, "he's never had any successful experience with women" This sparked Jr. memory.

"Hey chaos who was Tony talking about when he said you scored I know you suck at tennis so I didn't by that stupid story.

"ummm" chaos wasn't exactly sure how to put this. I mean come on, Kosmos, she is an android that is made completely out of wire and metal with no emotions and

Believes that mankind or whatever chaos was as irrational. But some how found him quite attractive, the only reason Tony new this was while innocently spying on chaos and kosmos activities for a while, found them making out on the bridge while all of the Elsa crewmembers were looking for MOMO on the Durandle,

Suddenly there was a swish noise from the door to the cabin. Kosmos walked in slowly through the cabin and stopped right in front of chaos. Tony and Jr. looked at kosmos in confusion.

"Chaos" kosmos said

"Y-yes Kosmos" chaos replies turning red knowing what she was going to say.

"I wish to confirm the schedule for my emotional regulation and lip treatment in 3 hours 48 minutes and 37 seconds" Chaos blushed even more seeing Jr. and Tony almost in tears as they try to hold back there laughter.

"Yes kosmos it still scheduled" (he was going to change it later that day)

"Confirmed, good day to you chaos" kosmos said while she walked out the door.

Jr. busted first laughing to hard he choked on his own spit and continued laughing while coughing in-between. Tony rolled on the floor holding his gut almost ready to toss chunks . Chaos on the other hand was redder than kosmos eyes and was waiting for a way out when…

Swish the door to the bridge opened and shion faced Allen who was talking to himself in the hallway. Allen looked like he would wet his pants. His knees knocking together, hands shaking and the sweet building under his arms were great start for his smooth talking.

"Oh hey its Allen, chaos said happy to change the subject. Both Jr. and Tony stopped laughing and jumped to watch the unfolding drama and disgrace about to be added to the poor soul called Allen.

"Come on Allen pull yourself together, you whole future depends on it" Allen said to himself. Shion was busy wondering why kosmos had asked her to leave to go to the kuki foundation in about 3 hours and 48 minutes. She was about to walk pass him when…

Allen put his had across the wall and blocked shion. He raised one eyebrow though it started to twitch. And crossed his legs and leaned on the hand that was blocking shion's way.

"Um Allen" shion said, "Could you move your in my way and I'm worried about kosmos. He got very uneasy but decided it had to be done. Allen took in a deep breath and said…Hey babe lets you and me go to the diner get some wine and relax under the stars. He kissed her hand

"I'd love to Allen your so smooth" she leaned on Allen "I like that in a man and winked at him. This however was just a daydream that Allen had before he said a word to shion. Realizing that was just a dream Allen once again a deep breath.

"hey B-beebee….umm h-how about you and me go to a drifter…no a diner and umm….ugh G-go to a diner have some wine and spend a night under a bars. Oh crap I messed up! " Allen squeaked realizing he had messed up big time

Chaos Jr. Tony and the strange robot who like to watch people in their sleep were dying.

"I-I cant breath" Jr. said while crying tears of laughter at the sight of poor Allen. Chaos was clutching his stomach due to the immense pain cause by his laughing. Oh god! Tony said while nearly passing out due to lack of oxygen. The robot literal cracked up and reported to the repair shop. The others continued to laugh and wait for more of the sorry to unfold, as it was shion's turn to speak.

"what are you talking about" shion protested. "my names not Bee bee, I don't want to meet a drifter I already said no to the diner and I don't drink…"she paused at this thought remembering Tony" I don't drink with you and, under the bar …Are you drunk Allen? Shion said with surprise but it was to late Allen had already disgraced, disappointed and soiled himself as he ran to the bathroom to shed tears and clean himself.

"sniff…it a good think the other guys didn't see that" Allen said to himself as he grabbed a tissue and changed his soiled pants.


	3. L is life long

"Allen you never let us down" Tony said while leaning back into his chair.

"How long due you think he's gonna be in there I have plans tonight I cant wait all day till he finally gets his butt to stop crying"

"Where the heck are you going tonight little master, the little league" Tony said

"Oh no the little league is for 14-year-olds he looks a bit to young for that" Chaos added.

"Shaddup you two, I'm 26 years old An I'm not going to a freaking little league I'm going out with my women its her birthday today.

"Your Woman! Tony busted out laughing MOMO is not a women.

"shut up! yes she is and she's better that Shion and KOSMOS combine more she's more thoughtful and mature than them too"

Swish the door flew open

"Momo!" Jr. said. MOMO was wearing a princess outfit with a paper crown that said HAPPY BIRTH DAY PRINCESS.

"HI Jr.!" she skipped all the way where he was "I called my mommy and she said that I could go to dinner with you at Chummy Cheese after I take my bath. But she wants Ziggy to come too so we can be safe." Jr. turned to chaos and Tony who were holding back the laughter and ridicule that he would endure when momo would leave.

"Damn" he said to himself. Chaos suddenly remembered an important detail he needed to know about MOMO

"So momo" chaos said "how old are you today

"14" she giggled, "I'm almost all grown up mommy said I'm a big girl now!

"Well congratulation you certainly are a big girl"

"Thanks chaos" and she skipped out of the room

Fourteen! Tony shouted a 26 year old is going out with a 14-year-old. You Pedophiliac! Jr. was about to shoot himself with his Blood guns and end the embarrassment right know.

"I can really say you are albedos brother now" chaos laughed remembering albedos love for the little Girls

"And she was sooo much more mature getting permission from MOMMY and a watching hand by Ziggy that girls gots brains.

"and a very cutie outfit too" chaos added The both laughed hard and hit the floor Jr. was steaming read…

"IM GOING TO KILL YOU MOTHER…." Jr. stared a barrage of bullets in the cabin shooting at everyone and everything.

"JR!" an observational realian had just enter the room to tell Jr. that…"

BANG it was too late JR. shot her before she could finish.

"Oh crap!" Jr. finally stopped and ran to the, who looked just like a kirshwasser, but before he could reach her a dark portal open in the middle of the room.

"What he hell!" jr. said

"Ill take that," a familiar voice said. Albedo walked out of the portal and picked up the realian and jumped back into the portal and left. Jr. just watch as albedo stole yet another one of his realians. Tony on chaos just looked at each other….

"CHUMMY CHEESE" they said in unison. Jr just blushed in rage and embarrassment "Shut the hell up"

Swish the door open and Allen walked in the cabin jumped on his bed and said "it didn't work" Allen was too depressed to notice the numerous bullet holes in the wall, the blood from the realian and the monitor in the room. Chaos quickly turned off the monitor and walked over the Allen.

"Allen" chaos said I think I understand why shion says no

"Is it because I'm a wuss, looser and an idiot" Chaos hated lying but he couldn't help it

"No that not it" he said

"Than what is it"

"Its your clothes and attitude" chaos said

"What do you mean"

"Girls love a sensitive guy who is always caring that what makes them interested as for clothes all you do is wear that uniform" chaos said "you need a new outfit I have a few extra that will surely get shion attention she would be proud to be with you.

"Well…as long as I don't look stupid"

"Too late for that" Jr. wisped to Tony. They both laughed

Chaos got out a Very large box full of tight booty shorts that chaos had collected over the centuries,

"Nope not this one" chaos whispered, then he pulled out another box with a gold band around it.

"This one has all my favorite clothing in it" he said.

"Umm chaos I think that they are a little too"

"Nonsense you look great in these, after all I lived over 6000 ye….uhhh" hours! that right hours so I know what I'm doing." Everyone looked at chaos a little weird. Allen was handed a large amount of clothing and told to change in the bathroom. The boys awaited the arrival of the new Allen hoping it would add a great amount of laughter and esteemed memories of making fun of Allen.

"Hey chaos" Tony said

"What?"

"You should have handed him that little princess getup momo had"

"SHUT UP ABOUT THAT ALREADY" jr. sat with his arms crossed steam pouring out his ears. Tony and chaos just laughed.

Swish the door opened and a shadowing figure ran and hid behind a chair.

"Chaos do I have to wear this?" Allen said

"Let see it" they all said. But they weren't prepared for what they saw…

Allen was wearing a tight glossy black spandex with a hot crimson short shorts. They were so tight Allen could barely move. Holding the short shorts even closer to Allen posterior was a pasty diamond belt that reflected glittering lights all around the room. As for the top he had a black turtleneck long-sleeved wool top over that, was a cherry vest with pink dragons going up and down the back and on his hands the were bulky orange and red striped gloves.

Tony, chaos, and Jr. were all speechless as tears rolled down their eyes.

"is it that bad" Allen asked

"…uhh no not at all you look g-great" chaos said while trying not to laugh

"S-shion will definitely have to hots for you now Allen"

"You really think so!" Allen's face brightened up

"Ya I-I wanted to get something just like that before" Jr. lied.

"I'm going to show shion!" Allen was about to run out the door when chaos grabbed him.

"Wait we still need to fix your attitude Allen then you can go see shion" chaos said.

Jr. and Tony looked at each other

"This is going to be good."

* * *

there are any errors that I didn't catch please tell me This is the first fanfic I've ever written 


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